Looking for an alternative to the typical dorm life? Wondering if mixed gender housing is right for you? Here is my experience.

First, let’s define some terms. At Harvard, mixed-gender or Gender-Inclusive Housing is a completely optional setup that students can opt into. Students who choose gender-inclusive housing should be open to living with people of any gender identity: cisgender men and women, transgender men and women, nonbinary, agender, and genderqueer students. This focus on gender diversity—rather than just a binary split—is the important distinction that separates Gender-Inclusive Housing from the more traditional term "co-ed."

The process for opting into Gender-Inclusive Housing is simple, though it varies slightly by class year. Incoming first-years can indicate their interest directly on the First-Year Housing Questionnaire. Upperclassmen can form mixed-gender groups during the spring housing process or reach out to their House Administrator to express their preferences.

When I was accepted to Harvard, dorming was a major point of anxiety for me. Finding out that my room and roommates would be chosen for me both calmed and activated my nerves. I was relieved not to deal with the stress of roommate hunting, but losing that control felt intimidating. Discovering the gender-inclusive housing option gave me the perfect level of agency. It provided a pathway to live in a more diverse environment—one I felt better suited my personal history—while offering a refreshing alternative to the stereotypical messy boys' dorm I was preparing myself for.

Moving in, however, I quickly realized I was stepping into new territory. Admittedly, I initially grouped "Co-Ed" and "Gender-Inclusive" together without fully understanding the crucial distinctions between them. Realizing that difference was an eye-opening first step in my journey. While I was excited for the experience, I hadn’t fully anticipated the cultural and social adjustments that came with it. Everyone brought their own unique background, traditions, and expectations surrounding shared living and privacy.

During that adjustment period, I found one thing to be absolutely critical: a baseline level of respect and acceptance. We were all in this space by choice, and we were going to navigate it together. What I appreciated most was the genuine feeling of comfort—knowing our dorm was a safe space for everyone in it.

Truthfully, we didn't all turn into lifelong best friends, and there’s nothing wrong with that. What mattered was knowing I had a group of people I could trust, familiar faces across campus, and a living environment where everyone was empowered to be themselves.

If you’re considering Gender-Inclusive housing, my biggest advice is to come in with an open mind and a commitment to clear communication. While these aspects are essential in any living situation, it’s especially vital when opting into a non-majority housing setup centered around identity. You don't need to have every social dynamic figured out on Day 1. Being ready to adapt, respect varied boundaries, and learn about traditions different from your own will make the transition smooth and rewarding.

Be forgiving of yourself, respectful of others, and choose the path that gives you the best college experience while allowing you to enrich the experience of those around you.