Even though college was completely new and different, one thing remained the same: I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to make friends. 

However, after my first year at Harvard, I am happy to report that my fears were completely unfounded. I have met people that I believe will be my friends for the rest of my life, and I hope that every college student has the same experience that I have had. Here are some lesser-known tips that I used when I was first branching out at Harvard: 

1. Follow-up 

The best friends are not always the most fun or extroverted, but rather the most consistent. During your first couple weeks at Harvard, you will meet tens if not hundreds of new people. Naturally, you will not immediately feel close or bond with all of them, but with the people you really mesh with, always follow up. Get their contact info, then a week later, ask if they want to get coffee before class. DM them on Instagram to get a meal together instead of passively liking one another’s stories. Some of the closest friends from my first year are people that consistently showed up. Even if it’s scary or invites rejection, you just come across as a friendly person, which nobody can really fault. 

2. Say yes to everything, under certain conditions 

When I was looking for tips on how to make friends in college, many posts said to say yes to everything. I was incredibly overwhelmed by this idea, which actually led to me saying no to most events, bonding activities, and group outings. I think saying yes to everything is a good rule of thumb, but it is unsustainable. There should be some caveats. I unconditionally said yes to low impact, low energy activities (typically ones that didn’t even require that I leave my room or change out of pajamas). For example, if a friend wanted to study in my common room or order food in and watch a movie, I made it a point to always say yes. Friendships are formed in these seemingly small, close moments. I also always said yes if the invitation was coming from a trusted, close friend. If my beloved roommate or floormate wanted to hang out, I always said yes. Saying yes unconditionally (in specific situations) builds trust and makes you the go-to friend, a habit that reinforces itself and only gets you more fun invites in the long term.

 3. The one meal a day rule 

Before anybody panics, no this is NOT a rule about eating one meal a day. Rather, I believe that you should try to eat at least one meal a day in Annenberg, the freshman year dining hall, with a new or unfamiliar person. Annenberg can be pretty overwhelming the first couple of weeks, but it is still an amazing place to meet fellow first-years who are just as eager to make friends as you. To minimize these overwhelming feelings, promising yourself that you only have to come out of your shell for one meal a day makes things more comfortable and less intimidating. 

4. Join clubs 

This one is kind of a no-brainer, but joining clubs, especially for activities that you have never done before or are simply interested in, helps forge close friendships. Many clubs are very intentional about having regular socials with every member, and many clubs have you work in teams. Either way, social interaction through a club is essentially inevitable, and even if you have never met someone before, you already have a common interest. 

5. Become a regular 

Like I mentioned in my first suggestion, presence and consistency are crucial in making and maintaining strong friendships. It’s really easy, especially in the first few weeks living on campus, to stay inside your dorm and study, eat, and hang out with people in that space. It’s important that you fight against that instinct and try to become a consistent presence at a few spots on campus or in the square. This way, people will recognize you based on where you hang out or study, and even if they do not know you, they will have this sense of familiarity with you. I have become a regular at Luxor Cafe, one of the spots in Harvard Square, as well as Cabot Library, a 24 hour study spot housed inside the Science Center. Sometimes my friends know that I am studying in these places, and they will come over to bring me a coffee or to briefly chat. 

6. Bring a friend 

Some things in this life are guaranteed, and one of them is taking a trip to one of the nearby Targets because you ran out of a vital personal care or cleaning product. These trips, along with many other errands, do not need to be done alone. I love to invite my friends to mundane errands so that we can make a day of it. It helps you become closer with your support system, and it typically benefits the other person too. 

I feel lucky every single day for the support system and community I found during my first year. While I am sure that I would’ve loved and spent time with my friends no matter what, community is definitely something that one should intentionally cultivate during college. I hope these tips make it easier to reach out and put down some roots at Harvard!