As the first semester of a chaotic junior year came to close, I was ready to spend part of my winter break at home! 

After cranking out a 25-page paper in my notes app on my six hour flight back to Washington, (which I absolutely don't recommend) I was ready for a week of much needed sleep. Home to me, and maybe for many of us, was just a building with loved ones if you are lucky. A reminder of good and bad at every corner. Items that remained from moving across state lines and unspoken rules underpinning every inch of drywall. But this time home looks a little different. 

Beyond the usual busy schedule, junior year has left me with a lot to think about and I keep feeling that I truly have not figured this life thing out just yet. College life as I know it is coming to a close, and instead of being a fashionable young adult I’m going to just be.. Well.. an adult (hopefully still fashionable but yes these are my priorities). On a more serious note though, I am preparing to head into an even bigger world with more to do but still quite scary regardless. These sentiments have certainly manifested themselves in my time at home. Little items around the house that I didn't bother as much as a second glance at, have now captured my full attention. These are a few that I would like to share with you!

Smells Like Home.

This house staple is an incense burner with all kinds of scented sandalwood and perfume oils. Many cultures have this but it is called tchooraye (chew-rye) in Senegal. The scent fills and warms rooms around our house and almost feels like a big welcome home. We typically turn it on for pretty much any occasion from guests to just clearing out the air after cooking. I never realized just how integral tchooraye is in making me feel so safe and connecting that warm inviting culture in Senegal to our home here!

The Whiteboard.

Oh the terror! I found this whiteboard laying around in one of our storage bins. This whiteboard single handedly carried me through elementary school. I struggled quite a lot with math growing up, so I would write out equations and all kinds of practice problems on it. My older sister and uncle would also use it to quiz me on my times tables. Looking back on it as a college student on the Pre-Med track, looking at this whiteboard is like seeing my child self once more. The hot tears that would fall on it from being upset that I could not understand Math. The faint stains from smudged markers after hundreds of tries. If I could tell frustrated little Rahma with her little whiteboard one thing, it would be that while Math does get more complicated moving forward, the hard work most certainly pays off! Even more so, to any student feeling discouraged about classes or just not understanding the material, beyond any grade metric, give yourself grace and always put your best effort. Be grounded and proud in knowing that you’ve done what you can in your circumstances! Onward and upward!

Dad.

This is a small picture of my dad who passed away when I was two years old. My mom and dad immigrated to the US from Senegal in the early 2000s, with my dad working as a UPS package handler and my mom as a certified nursing assistant. Both coming from impoverished cities in the country, their immigration signified an opportunity to provide for family back home and chase their American dream. While dad passed away before we could really build that dream together, this picture always reminds me of the sacrifices they both made for me. In this picture I see the resilience of my widowed mom, the deferred dreams of my dad, and the propeller in my own dreams after college.

Taekwondo.

This dramatically large trophy is from a Taekwando (form of martial arts) board breaking tournament in elementary school. Unfortunately as a kid I was bullied often, so my mom thought doing Taekwando would help build my confidence. Anything Karate adjacent was also all the rage back then (feeling quite old now– goodness!). Although I no longer do Taekwando, this was really integral in helping me break out of my shell and break all the house furniture doing flying side-kicks of course!

I could definitely go on and on discussing all of the little things I’ve been looking at around my home but I’d like to turn it over to you! You may be facing a different kind of crossroads in your life, whether it be academic, economic, interpersonal, and more. What is a space that makes you feel at home? Look closely and carefully. What is it that you see? It could be a complicated story. A reflection of you, or a window into a different time and place all together. Nonetheless it is a beautiful journey and indication of so much more in store for you. And about this life thing, don’t worry, we're all just figuring it out!